To love and to be loved is such a sophisticated thing. Everybody needs to feel this magical power of love. Being many-sided, love is deemed to be a stage, not an action.
The first questions which come to the mind sound in a following way: why are we attracted to some people but not others? Why do one’s friends have a tendency to have lots of features in common? What are the reasons to befriend certain people? Well, Social Psychology will help everyone answer each of these questions. The point is that one’s own beliefs or traits influence his or her choice of mates. Actually, there are six main factors that have an effect on choosing friends: proximity, association, similarity, reciprocal liking, physical attractiveness, and determination. The first one means closeness or nearness. A vast majority of one’s friends live next to his or her friends’ dwelling place during the period their friendship was developing. It is clear that in such a way, it is much easier to befriend and save the friendship till the end. There is a great opportunity to become friends with someone in a group or a class when your last names in a list start with the same letter. The second factor is association. If a person meets his or her future friend in the course of a class he or she really enjoys, there can be more 'likeability points' if this person than if he or she was met during the class one cannot stand. In short, people want to associate their current state with their opinions about other people. The next factor, which is similarity, is a pretty clear principle. Imagine the following situation: the person above concurred that the class which they were taking was extremely boring. Even this agreement will make a basis for the future friendship. The reciprocal liking, which is the forth principle of attraction, is very simple and clear. People have a tendency to like those who like them back. It gives a feeling that we are likeable. There are situations where people feel great when they are swarm around somebody. Then they try to report a high level of attraction towards that person. The fifth factor refers to physical attractiveness. It plays a great role in the choice of friends although not so much as in choice of mates. People tend to select those who are thought to be attractive and who are close to the way we see our physical attractiveness. Finally, the last statement rears a significant factor of how people determine their friends or partners. In reality, attractive people often have relations with other attractive ones; wealthy men end up with young and physically attractive women. These aspects can be believed to be a stereotype, but still such ‘attraction points’ make sense in the society people live in.
Talking about bonds, it is worth admitting that to be attracted to each other or sharing some values and interests in common means to set the bond between two people. Having a connection is extremely significant in building bonds. As a matter of fact, being friends as well as being good lovers is a must when two people want to build lasting relationships. In other words, despite the fact that there is a strong and durable passion between the two, it is not enough to keep interrelations running. While having powerful bonds with friends, people believe that this kind of relationships would remain under all circumstances. It is true since a person did not have a passion as with his or her partner. By the way, there could be a time when the sparkle between the partners can disappear, but it does not mean that the feelings are gone. It is a natural process when people have to get accustomed to a new stage of their bonds. As their relationships deepen, they will overcome a wide range of hardships and challenges that would put their sweet romance aside for a while. One can claim few rules which are obligatory to keep: always talk to each other, even about anything; be there for a partner on demand; always rely on a partner; create the feeling that you are a person that your partner can count on; sometimes be a shoulder to cry on; have common interests and hobbies; accept each other for who you are; consider your partner’s opinions as important.
There are lots of arguments about an innate need to belong. In fact, a term ‘the need to belong’ was promoted by Baumeister and Leary, who were social psychologists. They suggested that people experience a need to maintain personal relationships or group membership. This ‘need to belong’ is really innate although human’s intensity of the desire differs amongst cultures and individuals. According to Dr. Thomas Lane Butts, everybody was born with an innate need to belong. People cannot get rid of this basic need at any age or period of their lives. As far as science beliefs are concerned, it has shown that human beings have an innate need to have a sense of connectedness with someone else. People are social beings and cannot exist on their own. That is why it is of a vital importance to feel socially linked.
It is very consequential to distinguish the three types of love: companionate, passionate, and compassionate. Psychologists Susan and Clyde Hendrick and sociologist John Alan Lee determine three primary love types – eros, which is self-disclosing passion; ludus, which is uncommitted game playing; and storge, which refers to friendship. Passionate love can be characterized as infatuation. On the one hand, this process is very short: people fall in love, have a strong passion, always want to be close, then they are getting bored by their partners. On the other hand, this love may turn into companionate love. Only mature people can love in such a remarkable and respectful way. Compassionate love is an altruistic form of love although it is different from empathy. One of the striking differences between them is the age of lovers and their social position. However, all kinds of love are still love and everybody loves in a way he or she can love his or her partner.
According to Robert Sternberg and triangular theory of love that he created, there are three elements of love: intimacy, commitment, and passion. The first one is about feelings of closeness and bondedness; the second one refers to the achievements made together; the last one means limerence and sexual attraction. Different stages of love may be combined with these three elements; for instance, liking or friendship, romantic love, consummate love, and companionate love refer to intimacy; infatuation or limerence; romantic love, fatuous love, and consummate love refer to passion; empty love, companionate love, fatuous love, and consummate love refer to commitment.
Thus, love has different meanings for every loved person. It is a matter of age, stage, and action. Firstly, love is happiness. Secondly, love is a model of the Universe. Thirdly, love is power. Finally, love is human’s second nature.
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